As a parent, being proactive is key in helping stop these behaviors before they start. A large reason youth join these communities is to fill the holes in their life and find replacement for the gaps they are having socially. Below are some common behaviors to look for and steps on what to do when/if of the come about:
Using Slang like Chads, Stacy's, and Femoids
Increased isolation
Negative talk of women / Sudden nihilistic views of dating
Anger
Excessive screen time
Search history of reddit forums and YouTube
When you see your child acting in these manners or participating in the culture of a community such as the Incel community the first step is to help navigate the struggles and combat the isolation your child is feeling. Joining sports and clubs are easy and accessible ways to start a possible friend group. Next is to evaluate how your family communicates and foster a sense of open communication. This allows your child to ask you questions instead of the online forums. Having positive role models for your son is also hugely impactful. Seeing men secure in their masculinity can help provide a resource that's tangible and influential.
Lastly, and most importantly, is having a heavy conversation on social media usage and other forms of media. Setting child protections and time limits on screen time can help. The biggest thing is noticing what is a credible source and what's not. If your kid is looking for support and answers but doesn't feel comfortable talking with their family, offer therapy or a specialist who can provide help in a guided manner and offer the attention they don't feel they are getting in other areas of everyday life.
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